Whether you like it or not, small talk is the starting point for any relationship. So if you’re looking to grow your network at your expat location, you’d better embrace it.
Making a connection
“Small talk may feel trite and unimportant, but it’s the small talk that leads to the big talk,” says Allison Graham, a corporate trainer who specialises in effective networking. “Ultimately, the decision each person has to make during this initial contact is whether or not there is enough connection to warrant future interaction. It’s during these small conversations that people form their opinions about whether they like you, trust you, and believe you’re competent.”
Leaving an impression
The prospect of being sized up on the spot can be daunting and perhaps leave you a little tongue-tied. However, Graham says: “When it comes to small talk, don’t think you must say something strikingly intelligent each time you speak. Your words may be forgotten, but how you make people feel will be remembered.” She adds: “The real key to great conversations is to relax. Let the conversation flow naturally. That’s easiest to do when you’re fully engaged and genuinely interested in the conversation topic and the person with whom you are talking.”
Finding common ground
But what if you find small talk tedious and really boring? Then take it upon yourself to make the conversations more interesting, urges Graham. To have a conversation firing on all cylinders, you need to find common ground. How? “By determining in advance what interests you, half of the equation for stimulating conversation is complete,” she says. “Now your job is to guide the conversation from topic to topic until you solve the other important half of the equation: What’s of interest to your new contact?”
Photo: Heinrich Boell Stiftung – Flickr
