For expat teens or preteens, continuous international relocations can be a stress and a strain. In some cases, they might even ask their parents if they can go to a boarding school.
The literary perspective
Growing up in Ireland in the 1980s, I associated boarding schools with novels or films about posh British or American kids trying to survive a traumatic socio-educational experience, so their coldhearted parents could live in peace. Insidious teachers, vile bullies, inedible meals in decor-free canteens, cold dormitories. As a kid, all these stereotypes loomed large in my imagination – I couldn’t have imagined a worse fate than being forced to live away from home-cooked meals and the sense of freedom beyond the front door. So, more recently, I was a little shocked when my son (now 13) said: “I wouldn’t mind going to boarding school…”
Not so bad…
From his perspective, a school (any school in Ireland) is an attractive option. If he were a boarder, his grandfather and other family members could pick him up on weekends or during mid-term breaks. We (his parents) could spend longer holidays with him (anywhere in the world). “It doesn’t sound so bad to me,” he said. Although this is not an option we’re taking as a family, I was forced to consider his statement. Increasingly drawn to his Irish identity, but aware he doesn’t sound or look ‘classically’ Irish, I believe he sees boarding school as a way for him to be in Ireland on a more permanent basis. Not quite ‘home’ but an anchor in the right port.
A sense of continuity
Other expat kids from within our community have also surprised their parents, asking if they could go to boarding school rather than relocate (again). One serial expat – a mother of two – told us that when the kids were young, they never resisted relocation. It was always a big adventure. But when the eldest became a teenager, he strongly resisted an international move. In the end, the family made the (joint) decision for him to attend boarding school. He was, she told us, very happy with the decision. He was able to stay in one place, make and keep his friends. After multiple moves, he had a reassuring sense of continuity.
