Building a social network is usually an urgent priority when arriving at a new expat location. Do you know what types of friendships to look for?
Expectations
“There are three kinds of friends that everyone needs in their life: Someone to talk to, someone to depend on and someone to have fun with,” states professor William Rawlins, author of The Compass of Friendship, who believes friendship is part of living well. “In my profession, I talk to a lot of people, quite deeply, about their friendships. What struck me is that, no matter how old someone is, our expectations for our friends remain the same.”
Someone to talk to
Everyone needs a friend to confide in because an open and honest chat with someone you know and trust can help you work through a problem. “Acceptance is a cornerstone of friendship – you can open up and be vulnerable with friends,” explains Rawlins. A friend to talk to is not just a sounding board, he adds, but someone who spurs you on ‘to be the best you can be’.
Someone to rely on
We also need friends who provide a safety net; who are there for you to give you a lift to the airport, or to look after your children when you’re at the dentist. After all, having someone you can count on, makes life a lot easier – it provides stability. And it usually works both ways. Rawlins: “At the heart of friendship is a desire for the other to live well. If you can help a friend be happy, that in turn makes us happy.”
Someone to have fun with
Last but not least: we all need friends to have a good time with. Hanging out with friends is different from spending time with your spouse, family or colleagues as it doesn’t come with the same obligations – it’s usually more care-free. “Our opportunities for connecting with friends are a measure of how much freedom we have in our lives,” says Rawlins.
Source: time.com
Photo: Connie – Flickr
