An expat partner, who has relocated eight times, recently disclosed her secret for a successful adjustment: “Never compare your new host country to the last place you lived, or anywhere else you have lived!”
Reluctant to relocate
When we first move abroad, we are often a mix of nerves and excitement. Wide-eyed and open-minded, we’re ready to step into the unknown and embrace new challenges. But your second international move is often a very different experience. You might even be relocating with a heavy heart, having made good friends and developed a real affection for your host country. More than anything, after three or four years, you will probably feel quite settled. The thought of packing up and starting the adjustment process all over again is not easy.
Disguised complaints
“After you arrive in your new host country, it’s very easy to make comparisons, especially if you were very fond of your last location,” says Alexandra, a serial expat who has lived in eight different countries. “But once you start thinking or saying, ‘oh it was better, or easier, or more fun there…’, you start to validate some of the frustrations you’re feeling.” In other words, if your ‘comparisons’ are disguised complaints, you are pushing back against your own adjustment and making things harder for yourself.
A truly fresh start
“It’s always tough to say goodbyes to friends and places you love but I think you have to accept it’s a fresh start. If you go looking for what you left behind, or expect things to be the same, you are setting yourself up for disappointment,” adds Alexandra. “There’s also no cheat sheet for relocation. Just because you adjusted to a new culture in the previous location, doesn’t mean you will find adjusting to the next place easier or quicker. It’s more helpful to think, ‘okay, this will be another challenge but I’m ready…’, rather than hoping that everything will fall into place just because you have some ‘expat credit’ in the bank.”
Use the support!
“Even though I have now lived in eight different countries as an expat partner, I still make use of the relocation support offered by my husband’s company every time we move. Whether it’s speaking to a consultant from Global Connection, or discussing my plans with a coach, I like to hear their cultural insights and brainstorm ideas with them. It always energises me.”
* Interviewee’s name has been changed
This article was originally published for the thousands of expat partners that Global Connection supports around the globe. It is reproduced here in its original form.
