Home to 40 million people, Japan’s capital has been described as ‘the earth’s model megacity’. But how easy (or hard) is it for a newcomer to meet people and settle in?
Survival language skills
“‘If I am only here for a few years, should I learn the language or not?’ That’s a question I hear a lot!” says Katheryn Gronauer, a Tokyo-based coach. “It’s definitely a good idea to learn some survival Japanese, preferably before you even arrive, or as soon as possible (people often make the mistake of delaying language studies). Even if Japanese people do speak English, you will often need to use what’s known as Global English (for example, speaking more slowly and without idioms).”
Online networking
“The exploratory or ‘honeymoon’ phase is always fun in Tokyo with so many amazing restaurants and such a vibrant atmosphere. But don’t hold off on your networking plans (another common mistake). Use online platforms such as meetup.com or Facebook to find out about events, clubs and organisations. Draw up a shortlist based on your interests, so you have a few dates in your calendar for when you first arrive. Don’t be dissuaded, if you attend an event or join a club and don’t hit off with anyone. You need to give it a minimum of three tries!”
Neighbourhood feel
“If you’re wondering where you should live in such a vast city, I’d always advise choosing an area near your partner’s place of work and/or children’s school. Rest assured every neighbourhood will provide what you need,” says Katheryn, who is half Japanese and admits it’s hard to develop close friendships with locals (even when you are fluent in Japanese). This is linked to a basic Japanese cultural trait, the division of society into ‘inside’ (uchi) and ‘outside’ (soto) – ‘us’ and ‘them’. “Of course, you can still socialise with locals and friendship is possible. But, in terms of setting expectations, it’s more likely you will make close friendships with fellow expats.”
Safe as houses
Last, but not least, if you have kids, Katheryn has some reassuring words: “Japanese have great trust in their society as a safe place, for good reason, and children here are very independent from an early age. An American mom, who had basically been her kids’ personal driver back in the States, told me that she has much more time on her hands for her personal projects now that she’s in Tokyo.”
This article was originally published for the thousands of expat partners that Global Connection supports around the globe. It is reproduced here in its original form.
